Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Group One is Brilliant!

Please post your criteria, your brilliant thesis, and your justification here!

posted by Ms. Clapp @ 2:01 PM   2 comments

2 Comments:

At 2:40 AM, Blogger nin the bean said...

Like Drew, I would rank this essay in the 6/7 range. The opening paragraph presents a fairly strong thesis, although I found it a little odd that it addressed the idea of diction in "Helen" but not in "To Helen." In fact, diction in the latter was addressed in a subsequent body paragraph (although the writer used it to describe the imagery depicting the queen instead of discussing it as a separate category, which it very well could be). On a positive note, the thesis aptly addresses all parts of the prompt—each speaker’s view of Helen, and how the poet used different techniques to get across this view—and while it also adds the interesting idea about how a similar type of statue imagery was utilized to represent the differing perspectives each speaker had, this almost seems like it is too specific a piece of evidence to be used in the thesis, especially since the descriptions about it in the body paragraphs do not go much more in depth into this idea. The opening body paragraph included very compelling ideas about the purpose of the mythological imagery to suggest her beauty to be "legendary and unparalleled"; like Drew said, I just wish the writer had used more quotations or evidence to prove this point (and not just this point in particular, but other ideas throughout as well). As the official score guide says, this essay is perhaps “less well-supported” than an 8/9 essay. The paragraph on imagery in H.D.’s poem could also use more evidence, especially as I feel that the funereal imagery in the last stanza was the strongest evidence of the speaker’s resentful feelings for Helen. Perhaps the conclusion could talk some more about the deeper significance of these contrasts as well, although that could be stretching it with a 40 minute essay (oh, how terrifying this time limit is!). However, nonwithstanding some awkwardness, this essay did address all parts of the question and examined tone, diction, and imagery in both as well as the significance of these techniques—“meaning is king!” Good job!

 
At 6:38 PM, Blogger michelle! said...

I would give this essay a 7. I liked how this group found references to statues in both poems and pointed out how differently H.D. and poe chose to interpret the meaning of a statuesque beauty. H.D. uses the image of Helen being a white statue to illustrate how she was either unwilling or unable to act in regards to "past enchantments and past ills." However, like the essay says, Poe uses the statue to show how Helen's beauty should be celebrated.

I think the essay would have been stronger if they had supported their paragraph about H.D.'s poem a little better by incorporating the sarcastic tone of the last stanza into their analysis.

 

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